One more...



I like feedback. Feed me, please?

Hi.








Thanks to Heather for the orange ball Butterfly Bush
and the gorgeous roses!

I was getting worried because I hadn't taken any good
photographs in months. But then yesterday I took these...
:)

Woo-hoo, I am happy, happy, happy! I just got
back from the auction and I got a $1500 orthodontic
gift certificate for $750! It's the orthodontis
that I was going to take the kid to anyway, so
this is a $750 savings! Yay!

As for butts in my face, there were none tonight!
Another good thing! I pretty much stayed at my
table, so it was cool. Anyone that talked to me
sat in the chair beside me. Last night at the
gallery turned out okay too. It wasn't as crowded
as I thought it would be, and I only had one purple
corduory monster meet my face.

Another good thing happened today and that is that
I got some super good photos. I'd like to share
them, but I'm having trouble dumping them onto the
computer for some reason. I'll try to post some
tomorrow.

I'm reading a pretty good book. I can't remember
the name of it, and I don't feel like looking right
now. It's about this woman who falls from the top
of her apple tree and dies. Her dog is the only
witness. Her husband is trying to teach the dog
to speak so that the dog can tell him exactly what
happened - why was she climbing the tree, and did
she jump or accidently fall? I know it sounds
kooky, but it's good.

What, no one wants to hear my funny dog story? Geez.

I have two big social events this weekend. I've attended both
in the past, so I kind of know what to expect. I'm not looking
forward to the one tonight. It's at a small gallery and there
will be tons of people there with no places for them to sit which
means I'll be looking at asses all night. Now some of you
(especially if you are a guy), might be thinking, "And that's
a bad thing?" Yes, it is a bad thing. For me it is. I'm sick
of asses. I'm assed out. I wouldn't go tonight if I didn't
have to.

Tomorrow's event isn't something I have to go to. I'm not quite
sure why I've chosen to go. Most of it involves a sit down dinner
though, which is good considering I'll be able to look at people's
faces instead of their asses. BTW, if you've got any spare good
luck wishes you could send my way, I'd really appreciate it. It's
a fundraiser/dinner/aution and I've got my eye on a $1500 gift
certificate from a local orthodontist. I'm hoping I'll be the
only one to bid on it. That way I could get it for way less than
$1500. And that is a good thing because the kid needs braces.

So, no one wants to hear the funny dog story, but I'm going to tell
it anyway. My dog Trudy always has to be the first one to the
car. Last one to the car is a rotten egg? I keep telling her that
she isn't actually a rotten egg, nor will she become one. It only
smells like she is one a few hours after she steals half of a pizza
or a loaf of bread. Back to the story, the other day my daughter,
my two dogs, and I were headed for the car. Like I said before, Trudy
always has to be the first one to the car. The problem was, she also
had to poop. So she ran to the car while in a poop squat, dropping
turds along the way. Okay, I know this story involves dog poop, and
I'm about as sick of dog poop as I am of asses, but it really was
funny to see.

I won't gross you out with the cat diarrhea story. A few friends were
mad at me when I posted a picture of the dog chocolate barf a while
back. This was way worse than the dog chocolate barf. Way worse.

Howdy,

Sorry I haven't been here recently. I don't really
have much to say... Unless you wanna hear a funny dog
story? I've got some gross animal stories I could tell
also. For example, recently my cat had diarrhea on my arm.

About the iBOT though, I have a plan. The ball is rolling!
I'm not going to jinx it by sharing. Once I am in possession
of my iBOT, I'll share. It looks like I should be getting
it within the next six months.

In other boring news, we finally had a warm weekend with lots
of sunshine. It was wonderful except I overdosed on sun and
now I'm not feeling well.

So I've been on the fence about getting an iBOT.
I mean, do I want to be able to go on the beach with
my daughter and my dogs, or watch from a distance? Do
I want to have an eye level conversation with a standing
adult or would I rather strain my neck? If I go to a show,
would I like to see the stage, or stare at the butt of the
person standing infront of me? Do I want to be able to get
up and down stairs independently or would it be better to
not go where I want to go, or to break someone else's back
to get me up the stairs? As you might image, it's a dilemma
that I've been wrestling with for like about 8 years now.
It's probably the hardest goddamn decision I've ever
had to make in my entire life.

I'm happy to report that my decision is finally made.
My answer is yes! Yes, I am going to get an iBOT! Wanna
know what sealed the deal? I'll tell you! I know this guy
who has had his iBOT for one year now, and Johnson and Johnson
Federal Expressed him a one year anniversary gift. Hold onto
your britches, cuz this will knock them off... the gifts they
sent him via Federal Express included hand lotion, baby powder,
and bandaides. Woo-hoo! Now if that ain't a deal sealer,
I don't know what is.

I went to my parent's house last weekend to celebrate Easter.
This is their cat.

Here are some eggs we decorated.

We played a game called Catch Phrase.

It's a super fun game, but if your mom says, "It is what
I am sitting on", the answer probably isn't, "fat ass". It's
probably "chair". And if your sister sings, "Somewhere...", the
answer probably isn't "Kermit the Frog". It's "Over the
Rainbow".

I've put together a compilation of some of my best
wheelchair tricks. You can see them here.

That backflip was the shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~

-That's not me in the video.
-My mom doesn't have a fat ass.
-J&J really did send that one year anniversary gift. And
they really did sent it Fed Express.
-I haven't been on the fence about getting an iBOT. I've
wanted one with all my heart ever since I first saw it on
TV many years ago.

Fleas. I give my dogs and cats that flea medicine
that you squirt onto their skin and it kills fleas,
ticks, flea eggs, larvae, as well as repel mosquitoes.
I don't know what it is. Some nasty chemicals. It's
really the only way to get rid of the fleas though.

So anyway. I thought I'd be smart and save a few
bucks for my iBOT by getting the cheap stuff at the
grocery store instead of the vet. Bad idea. This is
what it did to my oldest cat Mike:

I put the medicine on him two days ago. Yesterday his
hair was falling out and his skin was pink and swollen.
Today it is scabbed over. Poor kitty. DO NOT buy Sergeant's.
They suck. It was really stinky stuff and it hurt my kitty.

The box says: If signs of sensitivity occurs, bathe your pet
with mild soap and rinse with large amounts of water. Oh yeah,
that's funny - rinse your cat with large amounts of water. Right.

Let's see...
cat scab
dead fly
Chuck E Cheese's
chocolate dog barf
skeletons
killing mice with sticky paper
fat ass
What next?

I have to say that today was a beautiful day. 70 something
and sunny. I took photos at a couple of friend's houses.
First off, here is my friend's dog Nick:

And my other friend's dog Bella:

And here are some photos from their wonderful gardens:

Well, I was hoping for a better picture, but my camera failed
me. I wanted some great detail, such as the expression on the
fly's face, but no luck. I was pleased with the hairs on his
back though.

On a serious note, one of the reasons I like macro photography
so much is because I often see things that I never would have
noticed with my naked eye.

You know what goes well with flys? Sandwiches. Here is how
to make one:

Bed

It's 8:30 on a Monday night and I'd like to go to
bed. Getting all comfy under the warm covers
reading a book I just checked out.. oh yeah,
that's where I want to be. Ahhh, The Catcher
in the Rye. I was browsing at the library and
saw it. I haven't read it since I was a kid.
I hated reading until I read The Catcher in the
Rye. It was the first book I read and loved. It
was the book that introduced me to the joy of
getting lost in a good book. It was the book
that changed reading from homework to pleasure.

So anyway, I can't go to bed yet because I am
waiting for my daughter to come home. I can only
hope she will be home soon, for her sake and mine.
Seriously, I hope she's not completely overwhelmed.

Why would she be overwhelmed you ask? Because
she's at Chuck E Cheese's. The poor girl. Her
dad's nephew's son is having a birthday party
there.

People *willingly* go to Chuck E Cheese's. It's true.
And some people, like my ex's nephew apparently,
*choose* to have parties there. Shocking. I'd rather
go to the dentist. I really would.

If you've never been there, consider yourself lucky.
And if you ever get invited, trust me, don't go.
Pretend you are sick. Pretend you got a flat tire.
Pretend you had to go to a funeral. It doesn't matter.
Just don't go.

I went to one once, and it was bad. I still have
nightmares and it happened over 5 years ago.

Alright, I need to go look for a dead fly now. Halfway
through writing this my dog started barking which means
she needed to go out. After letting her out, I noticed
a dead fly on my bed. I suppose most normal people would
take the fly to the garbage. Not me. I wiped it off the
bed onto the floor. As I was leaving the room, I thought,
darn, I should've kept the thing and taken macro photos
of it tomorrow. Yes, it's things like this that excite me.
Hopefully none of the cats have eaten it already. Wish me
luck. If I find it, I'll post a picture tomorrow because I
know anyone reading this will want to see photo of a dead fly
as much as they wanted to see chocolate dog barf or fat ass.